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The Worst Possible Day to Catch a Cold (HTF)

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It was a beautiful, clear morning in the forest, and Lumpy was still sleeping in his bed. The rays of sunlight from the window reached his face, causing him to open his eyes slowly. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes with his hands, before he yawned into one of his hands. After a few seconds of this, he sat on the edge of his bed and stepped out of his bed. He was still looking tired, but there was an excited smile on his face.

Today was Lumpy's birthday, and his friends were throwing him a party at Cuddles' house this afternoon. Lumpy was really excited and couldn't wait to go to his party. He had already been to everybody else's birthday parties, to the point that he almost forgot when his own birthday was going to come. But now that it was finally here, all Lumpy wanted to do was enjoy it as much as possible.

Suddenly, he felt a painful sensation deep in his head, causing him to cringe. Lumpy placed his hand on his forehead, trying to calm the pain down, but it wasn't working. He groaned in slight discomfort.

"I don't think I should think about my party too long," he thought. "It'll make my head hurt."

Then, a faint but noticeable itch appeared in his nose, so he sniffled. This sniffle sounded rather wet, and didn't do much to satisfy the itching sensation in his nose. He brought his hand up to rub his nose, but it became clear that this wasn't working, either. His nose just kept itching, and his nostrils flared up. Quickly, his breath started to hitch as well. He was going to sneeze.

"Aaaah..." Lumpy pulled his hand away from his mouth as he tilted his neck back. "Aaaaaaaah... AaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAH..."

By the final inhale, Lumpy had tilted his neck as far back as was possible for him to. His snout was quivering, and his already large nostrils were growing even larger, flaring up to several times their normal size. This was going to be a big one.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released a huge, loud sneeze that could be heard throughout his entire trailer. A huge amount of saliva came spraying out of his mouth, and two massive streams of green mucus came firing out of his nostrils. The sneeze was extremely painful to release, even more so than his usual sneeze.

Lumpy recovered from his sneeze, but his nostrils had turned a bright red, and mucus was constantly oozing out of them. He sniffled and rubbed his nose gently with his forefinger.

"Ughhhh..." He sniffled again, but his nose just kept running. He turned to the box of tissues on his end table, took a tissue and rubbed his nose with it, trying to clear the mucus off. Then he tried blowing his nose into it, but just doing so caused his nose to twitch again. Another sneeze was on the way.

"Aaaaaaah... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH..." Lumpy removed the tissue from his nose and tilted his neck back. He would have tried to cover his sneeze, but he didn't, since it was going to be just as large, just as loud and absolutely no less messy than the one before it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

A massive amount of mucus came barreling right out of Lumpy's nostrils as he released the sneeze. When he finished letting it out, he was completely breathless. He rubbed his nose with his forefinger, and then blew his nose loudly into the tissue he was holding. It didn't make his nose feel any better, however; in fact, it just hurt, intensely, about as badly as his head was hurting. A few small tears appeared in Lumpy's eyes as he wiped his red, wet and sore nose with the tissue.

"What the heck...?" Lumpy asked himself. "What is wrodg with be?"

Lumpy didn't understand why he wasn't feeling so good. He was feeling great this morning, but then it just... changed into this. How was it even possible? At first, he assumed it was his allergies getting to him again, but it wasn't that. The night before, he had made sure that his room would be free of pollen and dust so that his hay fever wouldn't bother him overnight. To do that, he had cleaned his room, and had made sure to shut the windows before going to bed. There was only one other thing that could be causing all of his symptoms...

Lumpy slowly walked out of his room, but stumbled a few times along the way. He sniffled several times, trying to stop his nose from running, but it just didn't work. On occasion, he gave a couple of loud coughs as well. When he arrived at the bathroom, he pushed the door open and turned on the light. The rays of light shined into his face, causing him to sneeze again.

"AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Lumpy's forefinger snapped to his nostrils as he sniffled loudly and rubbed his nose. He took a tissue from the box of tissues on the toilet, held the tissue to his nostrils and blew his nose again. He tried his best, but it was no use; his nose just kept running. Throwing the used tissue into the trash can, Lumpy continued rubbing his nose with his forefinger as he opened his medicine cabinet.

He pulled a digital thermometer out of the cabinet and stuck it under his tongue. He sniffled constantly, rubbing his nose repeatedly as he waited for the thermometer to beep. When it finally did, it did in a way that he had never heard before. He removed the thermometer from his mouth and looked at the reading. His eyes widened in complete disbelief.

"Wud huddred three?!" As he asked that, the thermometer, indeed, read 103 degrees Fahrenheit. "This cad't be!"

He stupidly tried shaking the thermometer, hoping it would change the answer to something lower, but since it wasn't the right kind of thermometer for that, it didn't move. It was then that Lumpy realized why he wasn't feeling good. It was because...

"I've caught a code!" Lumpy sounded like he was on the verge of tears, but that was because he was. "On by birthday!"

"Oh, by gosh! What ab I godda do?!" Lumpy couldn't even understand himself as he talked, but he was really worried. "Who gets sick od their birthday, of all days?!"

Lumpy tried to think of a solution to this problem, but couldn't come up with anything that was guaranteed to work. There were only two options he could come up with: try to hide his cold, or admit that he was sick. Both of these had their own negative consequences, in that his friends would either suspect something was wrong with him, or withheld every possible thing that he had waited a year to get.

As he tried to think of something, Lumpy sniffled constantly, rubbing his nose with his hand. He hated getting colds. Every single time he had one, he'd be sneezing much more frequently than usual, and this cold obviously wasn't an exception. It seemed like something was always bothering his poor nostrils, and he could only imagine what was going on in there.

Deep within his exceptionally ticklish sinuses, a huge number of germs that were invading his nasal passages rubbed against and tickled the walls of his nose, making it itch constantly. Lumpy could sniffle as many times and as hard as he could, but the amount of mucus in his nose just kept getting larger, to his annoyance. Some of the germs, however, were more than happy to climb into the mucus and infect it as well, making it so that whenever he sneezed, the mucus would be able to spurt out of his nose.

Specifically, however, there were four certain germs that considered themselves the "leaders" of the swarm. Their only purposes were to make Lumpy sneeze as much as possible, but they didn't mind one bit. They loved listening to him sneeze, and they loved inducing his sneezes. They also allowed any sneeze-causing irritant into his nose, treating said irritants as though they were sentient and their friends.

One of the four germs got out a pepper shaker and started shaking it everywhere in Lumpy's passages. As the germs were all immune to the pepper, none of them sneezed or even needed to sneeze. But Lumpy himself felt the itching, tickling sensation in his nose spike to an unimaginable point.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--" Lumpy tilted his neck as far back as he could, and then let out an extremely loud and powerful sneeze. "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

A gigantic amount of snot came exploding out of his nostrils as he shot his neck forwards. A good amount of snot was released from his mouth as well. After he finally finished releasing the sneeze, Lumpy rubbed his snot-saturated nostrils with his forefinger, sniffling loudly.

Some of the germs that had been in Lumpy's nose were expelled with the sneeze, but a large number still remained. Lumpy could almost hear their dialogue...

"Dude, that was awesome, man!"

"I know, right? You didn't tell us you had that stuff on you!"

"I wanted to give him a little something special for his birthday. He better have liked it!"

Lumpy started to tear up as he continued to rub his nose. How did he even get sick, let alone on his birthday? As far as he was concerned, everyone else he knew was fine the day before, so he couldn't have caught it from one of his friends. Maybe this was just a random cold that he caught for no apparent reason. But this was his birthday, and he really didn't want to miss out on any fun.

Lumpy took a couple of tissues and blew his nose again. He tried to do it more gently this time so that he wouldn't hurt his nose, but it wasn't as satisfying to do so. Wiping his nose on the tissues, he threw them into the trash and stayed in the bathroom until he had gotten ready for the day. He sneezed a few times while he was washing up, but didn't let his sneezes stop him.

When he finally stepped out of the bathroom, he heard a knock on his front door. At least one of his friends had arrived, most likely for a visit. He walked over to the door, but didn't want to open it at first. He was worried about how they would react if they saw him in this condition.

"Hey! Lumpy!" Cuddles called from outside as he continued to knock on the door. Toothy was standing next to him.

"I hope he didn't forget his own birthday..." Toothy said.

After a few moments had gone by, Lumpy finally opened the door, trying to keep his nose hidden behind the door so that they wouldn't know what was going on with him.

"H-hey, guys..."

"Hey, Lumpy!" Cuddles said. "Hap--"

"Wait, stop." Lumpy interrupted him. "Before you say the words, I have sobe extrebely bad dews for you."

"Oh, okay. What is it?" Cuddles asked.

Lumpy opened the door entirely, revealing his entire face to Cuddles and Toothy. They could clearly see that he wasn't looking good at all.

"Oh, my gosh! Lumpy, what's wrong with you?!" Toothy asked, sounding concerned.

"Guys, I dod't wadda say this, but..." Lumpy sniffled loudly and rubbed his red nose with his hand. "I'b dot feelidg good at all."

"You're not?" Cuddles didn't look or sound like he could believe it.

"No..." Lumpy's nose started to twitch, and his nostrils started to flare up again. He could tell that he was going to sneeze again. He turned away from Cuddles and Toothy as he took a single, dramatic inhale. "AaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released the sneeze, which fired a good amount of mucus and snot from his nostrils. Cuddles and Toothy both cringed as they heard him sneeze. After a few seconds had gone by, Lumpy recovered from the sneeze and turned back to Cuddles and Toothy, rubbing his nose on his forefinger and sniffling audibly.

"Oh, Lumpy, I am so sorry!" Toothy said, sympathetically. "You must be miserable!"

"Though I gotta admit, that sneeze was absolutely awesome," Cuddles added.

Lumpy sniffled again, looking like he was about to cry. Tears were filling his eyes as he spoke.

"This is the worst possible day to get a code..." he lamented. "I spent so bady bonths waitidg for it to cobe, and THIS is how I have to sped it?!"

Toothy went up to Lumpy and put a hand on his shoulder in sympathy. He felt really bad for him.

"Lumpy, is there anything we can do to help you?" he asked him.

"AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAH--" Lumpy turned away from Toothy just before letting out another powerful sneeze.  "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" After he had finished releasing the sneeze, Lumpy sniffled pathetically and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

"Bless you." Toothy gave Lumpy a tissue, which Lumpy quickly took and blew his nose into.

"I just wadda go to my birthday party, but I cad't..." Lumpy said as he wiped his nose with the tissue. "I sure wish I could get rid of this code."

"I wish we could help you do that, but I'm afraid you can't really cure a cold," Toothy reminded him. "Sorry."

"But maybe you can still go to the party," Cuddles said. "Even if you're not feeling so good."

"I dod't dow..." Lumpy seemed a little hesitant. As much as he wanted to go to the party, he knew just how bad his cold was, so he wasn't sure if he should go.

"Well, if you don't wanna miss out, you might as well go anyway," Cuddles said. "Besides, it's your party."

Lumpy thought about this for a while, but decided he didn't have much of a choice. He would have to go to his birthday party, whether his cold wanted him to or not.

"I guess I'll go," he said. "But first, I'll be right back."

Lumpy went back into his house and headed back into the bathroom. He sneezed loudly a couple of times along the way, but kept rubbing his nose afterwards, thinking it would help satisfy his nose. When he finally got back to the bathroom, he took a few tissues and put them in his pockets for later. He also took some cold medicine to help him stop sneezing before he left again. However, just like there were times where he took his allergy medicine and it didn't work, there were times where his cold medicine had the exact same problem.

Now feeling more prepared, Lumpy returned to his friends and headed outside with them. The moment Lumpy stepped out of his house, however, his nose itched intensely. The amount of pollen that was in the air was through the roof.

Inside of Lumpy's nose, the germs could sense the amount of pollen outside as well. But in Lumpy's mind, the germs actually enjoyed the company of the pollen, due to their tendencies to make him sneeze constantly. So they just let them in, as though they were their closest friends.

"Hey, guys! Whatcha'all doing?"

"Yo, pollen! We're just making this dumb moose sneeze and be all miserable."

"Oh, my gosh! No way! That's what we like to do, too!"

"Wanna join us?"

"Sure!"

The pollen proceeded into Lumpy's nasal passages and started rubbing themselves against his nasal walls, only making his urge to sneeze even worse. Lumpy could feel his snout quivering and his large, round and red nostrils growing and shrinking constantly.

"Aaaaah... Aaaaaaaah..." Lumpy inhaled twice, tilting his neck back. He wanted to fight the sneeze, but the pollen was making it too strong for him to handle. It was like the cold germs and the pollen were working together, trying to make him sneeze as much as possible. He had to give in to the inevitable. "AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

A good amount of mucus escaped from Lumpy's nostrils as he released the sneezes. Luckily, it was enough to expel most of the pollen, even though hundreds of germs remained in his nose. Lumpy snorted rather loudly and rubbed his snot-covered nose with his forefinger.

"Bless you," Toothy said.

"Thanks..." Lumpy kept rubbing his nose until he got out a tissue, held it to his inflamed nostrils and blew hard. With most of the disgusting snot cleared from the outside, he then wiped his nose, sniffling a few times as he did. This was going to be one sneezy birthday. And those were two words that he never thought would be used in the same sentence.

The moose kept trying to follow his friends, but his unfortunate nose continued to itch constantly. Every single thing that the germs in his sinuses did made his nose feel tickly. He tried sniffling as much as he could and rubbing his nose at every chance he got, but neither of these actions were much help. And the pollen in the air just continued to make it worse.

"Aaaaaaah..." Lumpy sniffled loudly and swiped at his red, itchy nostrils with his forefinger. But he could tell that another sneeze was on the way, and trying to stop it from coming wouldn't even be worth it. He tilted his neck as far back as possible, nostrils growing as large as they could become. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released the sneeze, expelling a good amount of mucus from his nose. By the time he had recovered, his nostrils had started running again. Sniffling wetly, Lumpy gently swiped his nostrils with his forefinger a few times. His poor nose was dripping with snot.

"My gosh! Bless you!" Toothy said, emphatically.

"Ugh, thadk you..." Lumpy said, still rubbing his nose.

Lumpy reached into his pocket, pulled out another tissue and blew his nose loudly into it. Some of the snot was cleared from his nose, but it continued to tickle mildly, so he rubbed it with the tissue after he was finished. He really wished that blowing his nose would permanently cause him to stop sneezing.

When Lumpy and his friends finally arrived at the party, almost everybody else who lived in the forest was there and enjoying themselves. Lumpy, who had sneezed several times along the way and was rubbing his nose again as a result, looked almost concerned at the amount of guests. He had the strangest feeling that at least one of them was bound to suspect something was wrong with him.

Maybe his cold wasn't going to be as bad as he thought, however. Maybe it would disappear later in the day. Unlikely to happen, but Lumpy was going to try to hide his cold as best as he could, and pass it off as his allergies getting the best of him. Hopefully, some of the guests wouldn't know the difference. The germs deep within his nose, however, must have known what he was going to do, because they weren't going to make it easy for him.

Trying not to make it too noticeable, Lumpy tilted his neck back and sniffled deeply a few times, trying to clear his nose. It wasn't working as he hoped for, but he still tried. He did suck up some excess phlegm that had been in his nose, but the phlegm ended up in his throat, causing him to cough quite a bit. He made sure to put his hand over his mouth, though, in an effort to keep his coughing from being too loud, as well as to keep his cold from spreading. When he finished, he cleared his throat quietly, then looked around again. Either no one had heard him coughing, or paid any attention to it.

Lumpy sighed in relief, but then a small tickle made its way into his nose. He sniffled again and rubbed his nose with his hand, trying to stop it from tickling. To his slight annoyance, this didn't do much to help. But he couldn't sneeze now, or else everybody would hear him. And just to make things worse, he saw Flaky walking right up to him.

"Hi, Lumpy," she greeted him.

"Uh... hi, Flaky," Lumpy greeted her in return, looking almost embarrassed as he kept his hand under his nose.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?"

"Yeah..." That was actually a lie, since Lumpy had spent more time trying to hide his cold than actually doing anything at the party. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I am, too." Flaky wanted to say more than that, but she stopped herself when she saw Lumpy's reddened nostrils grow slightly larger than they already were.

Lumpy saw his nostrils flare as well, but he knew what was going to happen. He rubbed his nose again, emitting a couple of audible sniffles as he did. His nose and the germs that were busy tickling it just didn't want to listen to him, but he had to hold back his sneezes for as long as he could.

"Lumpy, are you feeling okay?" Flaky asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, I'b fide." That was also a lie, but it was more obvious than the first one he had pulled. "It's probably just by... *sniff* by allergies..."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Fortunately, Flaky managed to fall for that.

"They just dod't wadda leave be alode. *sniff* Eved od by birthday..." Despite Lumpy's urgent attempts to keep the sneeze from coming, he could still feel his nose tickling like crazy. The germs must have been deliberately trying to make him sneeze again. His breath started to hitch a little. "Ah... Aaaah..."

Lumpy turned away from Flaky as he pulled out a tissue and swiped his nose with it. This didn't help, either, but he really, really didn't want to sneeze. He didn't bother to blow his nose, as he thought it made absolutely no sense for him to blow his nose before releasing a sneeze.

"Aaaaaah, ahhhhhh..." Lumpy tilted his neck back as he continued to rub his nose with the tissue, trying to hold his sneeze back.

"Um, Lumpy? Are you..." Flaky stopped herself again before she could ask the question. She had already realized what was going to happen. "Oh, dear..." Flaky backed up nervously to avoid being sneezed on, despite that Lumpy wasn't even aiming his head towards her.

"AaaaaaaaaaAAAAH... AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH..."

Lumpy's inhales were becoming more and more audible. Some of his friends at the party, and some others that he weren't so familiar with, turned their heads to look at him once they heard his inhales. But Lumpy couldn't pay any attention to them, since he really had to sneeze. And he was slowly realizing that he couldn't hold it back, which made it worse.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--" Lumpy tilted his neck as far back as he could, and then tried to stifle the sneeze into the tissue that he was holding. "CHOO!!!"

Even though he was successful, it was still loud, and was one of the most painful sneezes he had ever released. It probably would have hurt less if he just let it all out. When Lumpy recovered from the sneeze, pulled the tissue away from his face and opened his eyes, his friends were looking at him. He blushed in response, his face turning a deep red as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger. Thankfully, his nose wasn't dripping with mucus, even after that monstrous sneeze.

"Um, excuse be..." he said mildly.

Fortunately for him, almost everyone else kept on with what they were doing. Lumpy sighed with relief as he continued to rub his nose, which was still tickling. That stifled sneeze hadn't been enough to satisfy it. It wasn't until Giggles walked up to him, however, did Lumpy feel the need to sneeze again.

"Bless you, Lumpy. Are you feeling alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'b fide," Lumpy lied as he continued to rub his nose. He always rubbed his nose a lot whenever he sneezed, but it wasn't uncommon for him to do it when he wanted to hold back another incoming sneeze. "By allergies are pretty bad..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were catching a cold or something," Giggles said.

"No, that's ridiculous. Who gets sick od their birthday?" Deep down, Lumpy was begging himself not to sneeze, but his nostrils were twitching and expanding constantly.

"I'm not sure, but you don't look that well to me..."

Lumpy sniffled and rubbed his nose again, trying not to sneeze in front of Giggles. Every sniffle he took, however, as well as every time he rubbed his nose, just seemed to make it worse. And he had stifled the last sneeze he had released, so if he stifled this one as well, it'd make him feel even worse than he already was.

"Actually, Giggles..." Lumpy started. He was sure he wouldn't be able to finish what he was going to say without sneezing, but he still wanted to try. "I'b afraid I dod't feel so good this year..."

"So you do have a cold?"

"Y-ye-- Aaaaaaaah..." Lumpy's breath had started to hitch again. He tilted his neck back as he turned away from Giggles, only to see other people in front of him. He tried turning away from them, but to his fear, there were people everywhere he looked. There wasn't a single spot where he could release the sneeze uncovered. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh..."

Surrounded by his friends, Lumpy had no choice but to get ready to cover his sneeze. It was going to be a huge one, but he had to try. Lumpy raised both of his hands to his mouth as he continued to inhale. His snout quivered and his nostrils flared up constantly.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--" Lumpy tilted his neck back, waiting for the sneeze to release. This inhale was probably loud enough to get everybody's attention, but he just didn't care. He didn't want to sneeze, at all, but he absolutely had to, thanks to those pesky germs. He tilted his neck as far back as he could as he took a final dramatic inhale, just before...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he sneezed loudly into his hands, covering them in a huge amount of spit and snot. This sneeze was at least more relieving than that stifled sneeze he had released earlier, although he could still feel his nose itching, even after that. Right after releasing the sneeze, Lumpy rubbed his extremely snotty nose with his forefinger, blushing a deep red as he saw everybody looking at him in shock. None of them could believe what had just happened.

"Oh, my gosh!" Toothy said.

"What the barnacles?!" Russell said in disbelief.

Not knowing what to say, Lumpy nervously backed away, and then ran out of the living room. He had embarrassed himself enough at his own party, but his nose was begging for more sneezes, and he needed to get to a private room as fast as possible. Luckily, when he entered the hall, the door to the bathroom was already opened. So Lumpy ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and almost immediately turning on the sink to wash his hands.

"Ugh, God dang it!" he cried to himself as he cleaned his hands off. "You had wud job, you stupid dose! I told you dot to sdeeze, why didd't you listed to be?!"

As if responding to him, his nose twitched fiercely again, and he could feel another sneeze building up. Once he had finished washing his hands and had dried them off, he looked up at the lamp on the ceiling and let loose.

"AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Lumpy let out yet another sneeze, firing a good amount of spray from his mouth, as well as a small amount of mucus from his poor nostrils. It wasn't enough relief, though; since he had held his sneezes back for so long, all his nose wanted to do was sneeze for hours on end. "AHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Aaaaah... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

Lumpy cringed internally as he released the fourth sneeze. He had never sneezed like that before, and he didn't like how it sounded. After he had released it, however, he recovered and rubbed his nose again. His nose had stopped itching for a brief moment.

"Is it... gode? Did I just sdeeze by code away?" he wondered to himself. It wasn't logical for that to happen, but he had always thought that the real way people recovered from colds was to simply sneeze until their nose stopped itching. He had actually seen something like that happen in a cartoon he once watched, which made him believe that it was true.

As if wanting to answer his question, his nose started twitching and feeling itchy again.

"No, I didd't..." Lumpy sounded dismayed, but he had an expression that looked like he was on the verge of tears. "Aaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..."

Lumpy reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of tissues, which he then held in front of his mouth and nose. Even if this sneeze was going to be messy and snotty as all heck, he was still going to try and cover it.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The moment Lumpy sneezed into the tissues, however, a huge amount of green snot was fired directly into them. Lumpy recovered from the sneeze, but his nostrils were oozing with snot. Disposing the used tissues in the toilet, he pulled out a couple more tissues, held them to his sore nose and blew as hard as he could. These tissues became soaked as well, so he threw those out as well.

"Ugh, this sucks!" Lumpy complained as he swiped his poor, red nose with his forefinger. His nose had stopped running, but had become completely stuffed up. He pulled out the last few tissues in his pockets and rubbed the end of his snout with one of them, but it didn't help.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Lumpy let out another sneeze, which was smaller than the last few, but still caused a good amount of mucus to come out of his nose. He sniffled several times as he scrubbed his nose with the tissue.

"Why did you do this to be, you stupid code?! Of all the days you could've chosed, you chose by FREAKING BIRTHDAY?!"

Lumpy's irritation quickly dissolved into sadness as he started crying. His stuffy nose only became even stuffier as he sobbed and sniffled constantly.

"Lumpy? Lumpy, honey, are you feeling okay?" a familiar voice called.

Lumpy could tell who it came from. Lammy had overheard his sneezes and complaining, and had been standing in front of the door to the bathroom. Lumpy sighed to himself, knowing how this was going to turn out. He had to admit he was sick, whether he liked it or not.

"No, I'b dot feelidg okay..." Lumpy said, at a loud enough volume for Lammy to hear.

Before he could say anything else, Lammy opened the door to the bathroom.

"What's wrong? ...Oh, my goodness!" Lammy's eyes widened and her pupils shrunk when she saw just how miserable Lumpy was. Not only was he still sick, he was also depressed and crying. His nose was still a bright red, a small amount of dark green snot was oozing out of his nostrils, and his slightly bloodshot eyes were filling with tears.

"Labby, I dod't wadda say this, but..." Lumpy sniffled again, trying to clear his nose, but to no avail. Not that he expected it to work. "I actually have a really, really bad code."

"Really? Why didn't you tell us that before?" Lammy asked.

"Because if you did, you would've all bade be go hobe..." Lumpy then tilted his neck back and sneezed again. "AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Lammy cringed as Lumpy released the sneeze. Not only was it uncovered, but the snot that was dangling out of his nostrils were flung right out onto the floor. Then Lumpy raised one of his tissues to his nose and blew it loudly.

"Bless you!" Lammy said as the poor moose wiped his nose.

"Ugh..." Lumpy continued to wipe and rub his nose, sniffling constantly. No matter how many times he blew or wiped his nose, his sinuses were either flowing with mucus, almost as much as a river, or uncomfortably blocked off. "I just had to go. I really didd't wadda biss by party..."

"I am so sorry about your cold, Lumpy." Lammy put one of her hands on Lumpy's shoulder, feeling bad for him. "We didn't know you were gonna get sick right before your birthday."

"I'b sorry, too..." Lumpy started to break down into quiet sobs again. "This is the worst birthday of by life..."

Cuddles walked into the hall and stopped when he reached the bathroom door. He looked at Lumpy and Lammy in curiosity.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Lumpy just told me that he's not feeling so good. That's why he was sneezing so much," Lammy explained.

"Yeah, he told me something like that earlier today. Is he feeling any better?"

"No, I'b dot..." Lumpy turned his head away from Cuddles and Lammy before he sneezed again. "Aaaaaaaah... AaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Quickly recovering from the sneeze, Lumpy sniffled and rubbed his nose on his forefinger.

"I thought that if you dew I was sick, you wouldd't let be have ady fun," Lumpy continued. "Dot that I was already havidg ady thadks to by code, but..."

"It's alright, Lumpy," Cuddles said. "Even if you're not feeling good, we'll still let you into the party. Just be really careful so we don't get sick, too."

"Really? You'll let be stay for the party?" Lumpy smiled once he realized that.

"Well, yeah," Cuddles responded. "I mean, it's your birthday, even if you're sick."

"And if it'll make you feel better, we'll try to stay away from you," Lammy added.

"Oh, thadk you so buch, you two. *sniff* You are a couple of great friends."

"Don't mention it, Lumpy." Cuddles smiled at him, as did Lammy.

The rabbit and the lamb left the bathroom, giving Lumpy some extra time to himself. Lumpy sighed to himself in relief, glad that he wasn't in trouble for releasing his sneezes after all. He made plans to leave the room and join the party soon, but first, he had to let out a couple more sneezes.

"AaaaaAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Sniffling and rubbing his nose with his forefinger, Lumpy held the last few tissues that were already in his hands, held his tissues to his nose and blew it. He tried not to do it too hard, lest he hurt himself by doing so. Luckily, he didn't feel much pain after that blow, so he smiled to himself as he wiped his nose a few times afterwards. After disposing of the tissues, he took some more from the tissue box and put them in his pockets for later. Then he washed his hands, dried them off and left the bathroom.

On his way back to the living room, Cuddles walked up to him, holding a small amount of white powder in his hand.

"Here, Lumpy, I know what'll make you feel better!" Cuddles said.

"Um, Cuddles, what's that?" Lumpy asked, referring to the substance that Cuddles was holding. The moose didn't seem to recognize it.

"Oh, nothing. Just some flour that we had left over after we finished baking your cake. Want some?"

Before Lumpy could answer, Cuddles flicked the powder right into Lumpy's face, and it landed right up his nose. His snout quivered and his nostrils grew to their largest possible size as he almost immediately needed to sneeze. Lumpy wasn't allergic to flour, but he had to be really careful with it whenever he used it. It was so fine that even the smallest amount landing on his nostrils could make him feel a sneeze coming on.

"Aaaah... Aaaaaaah, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH--" Lumpy tilted his neck back and turned away from Cuddles. Thankfully, at this position, there was no one in front of him, so he just let the sneeze free. "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The sneeze wasn't as snotty as a majority of Lumpy's other sneezes, but it still had some visible spray. Cuddles winced at first, but then chuckled to himself. He always thought that seeing Lumpy sneeze was amusing.

"Ugh..." Lumpy sniffled again as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger. "Why'd you do that?"

"I thought it'd make a good birthday present for you," Cuddles responded.

Lumpy looked at him, not amused.

"Really?" Lumpy asked.

"Just kidding!" Cuddles laughed.

"Oh..." Lumpy looked away and blushed slightly. He didn't know that Cuddles was joking. "I didd't dow..."

"Of course you didn't. But it's alright! Now come on, those presents aren't gonna open themselves!"

With that, he and Cuddles headed into the living room to enjoy the rest of the party. Even though Lumpy had a few more sneeze attacks during his party, none of them were too serious or severe. And he always made sure to keep them from being too messy for as long as he could. Besides that and a couple of other cold symptoms, Lumpy had a great time at the party, and enjoyed his presents and the cake. He was a little disappointed that he couldn't taste as much of his cake as he usually did this year, but it was alright. Also, somehow, he could sense the flour that was used in the cake, and his nose twitched slightly from just imagining it. However, as it wasn't applied directly to his nose, it didn't actually make him sneeze; at worst, it just made his nose tickle, and he had to rub it a few times to satisfy it.

At the end of the day, Lumpy thanked his friends for throwing him the party and headed home with his presents. Along the way, he sneezed several times, with almost all of the sneezes having varying amounts of spit and snot. He tried his best to forget about the sneezes once he was done releasing them, however. The only thing he truly thought to be a problem was the fact that he couldn't rub his nose, since his hands were full. When he finally got home, he dropped the presents on his couch, then headed into his bedroom and sat down on his bed, all while rubbing his nose with his forefinger. He absolutely couldn't bring himself to let out a sneeze without rubbing his nose. He took a deep breath and sighed with relief.

"I guess by birthday wasd't so bad after all..." he said to himself. He then sniffled and rubbed his nose again, this time with his hand. "But it would've beed a whole lot better if I didd't have this stupid code!"

His nose twitched and his nostrils flared up yet again, but he knew what was going to happen. And he was now home, with no one else, so he was free to let out as many uncovered sneezes as his nose wanted him to. So he tilted his neck back, breath hitching and nostrils growing even larger than they already were.

"Aaaaaaaah... AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAH-- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released the sneeze, which fired a good amount of spray from his mouth. Then he sniffled and started to rub his nose, but no sooner than he started did his nostrils flare up again. But as he knew this was going to happen, Lumpy removed his forefinger from his nose and grabbed a tissue from his tissue box as his breath hitched again.

"Ah... Aaaaaaah..."

He tilted his neck back twice, but before he thought the sneeze would release, it disappeared. Lumpy regained his breath, then took the tissue in his hand and rolled one of the tissue's corners into a point. He then started to insert it into his nostril, but before it could even make it inside, his nostrils flared, wildly. He hastily pulled the tissue out, but was about a split second too late.

"AHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A small amount of mucus was fired from Lumpy's cringing nostrils. But he didn't think this sneeze was enough to satisfy his nose for the night, so he went right ahead and inserted the corner of the tissue into his nostril.

"Aaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAH-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lumpy's sneeze blew the tissue right out of his nose. Sniffling mildly, he inserted the corner of the tissue into his other nostril, then started to wiggle the tissue around.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah... Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..." Lumpy tilted his neck back as he continued tickling his nostril with the tissue. "AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH--!" he tried to open his eyes slightly, but ended up getting a little light from his lamp in his eyes. The urge to sneeze spiked - his nostrils flared as wide as they could become, and his snout twitched and rumbled like a volcano about to erupt. But the light wasn't what caused him to sneeze. Right when his nostrils grew to their largest size possible, they felt a final little wiggle from the tissue, which led to...

"CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

These sneezes were much louder and messier than the last two he had just released. A huge amount of snot exploded out of Lumpy's nostrils, and ended up getting on the tissue that he had just used to make himself sneeze with. Fortunately, these sneezes felt amazing to release, and they were enough to satisfy his sneezy nose. Lumpy sniffled and rubbed his nose again with his forefinger, but this time, he did it for much longer than he had been earlier today.

Disposing of the tissue that he had used to induce his sneezes, Lumpy grabbed a couple more tissues from his tissue box and blew his nose loudly. He then wiped his nostrils for a while before disposing of those tissues as well. His eyes started to feel heavy afterwards. Those sneezes had really tired him out.

Lumpy yawned into his hand. Just for the heck of it, when he was done yawning, he faked a sneeze into his hand, and then rubbed his nose on his forefinger for the final time. Sometimes, if he didn't have to sneeze, he would just pretend to. Most of the times - this one included - he did it just for fun, but sometimes he just wanted an excuse to be blessed. But his closest friends could easily tell the difference between his fake sneezes and his real ones, and he knew that they would only bless his real sneezes. And there was no one else in his trailer except for him, anyway.

Wanting to go to bed, Lumpy turned off both of the lights in his room. First the lamp on his ceiling fan, then the lamp on his end table. He then climbed into his bed, pulled the covers over him and tried to go to sleep. It took him a bit longer than usual for him to go to bed due to his nose, which kept clogging and unclogging throughout most of the night. But eventually, he fell asleep, breathing through his mouth since he couldn't breathe through his nose.

Inside Lumpy's nose, the germs were feeling satisfied with their work. They were also glad that Lumpy had decided to induce those sneezes. They had been listening to every one of them, and even though there weren't as many sneezes as they would've liked, they felt like Lumpy was doing them all a favor and making himself sneeze so that they wouldn't have to.

"I bet he never thought he could get sick on his birthday. Good thing we proved him wrong!"

"His special day may be over, but now that we're here, he's got six more where that came from!"

"He better enjoy them as much as we enjoy his sneezing and suffering! That sure as heck made our day special!"

The germs laughed in agreement, and then there was a short pause between them.

"Man, no wonder everybody hates us."
WARNING: This story contains lots of mess and outright mentions snot.
Lumpy gets a sneezy cold on his birthday and tries not to sneeze while attending his party. The mere idea of this fanfic used to bring me to tears, but it doesn't anymore. Poor Lumpy, can't even get a break from sneezing even on his birthday :(
To be honest, the only reason I wrote this at all was because I believed in the idea, and really wanted it to happen. That, and my birthday was coming up at the time.
If you don't understand why there's no blood, gore or violence, I'd like you to read this: sarahgirl1998.deviantart.com/a…
Rating: Appropriate for all audiences.
© 2017 - 2024 SarahGirl1998
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Raquaelle's avatar

Raquaelle: Lammy, can I ask you something?